white day dreams 白日梦

Ending or Beginning

2011-12-12T08:44:00.000-08:00

I'm almost packed for tomorrow's flight to London. What was a to be a happy Christmas holiday with family and friends turned out to be a sad occasion as we are all grieving for the loss of Francis, my brother-in-law who had a kidney transplant and we thought, a new lease of life. A thoroughly sociable soul, he was so looking forward to our visits to London and had made lists of visitors, things to do, etc But then he died suddenly of a heart attack, alone, just a couple of hours before this wife reached home from an overseas trip.

Death, although the most certain event in everyone's life, when it actually does come, is always unexpected. And we weep for more time and asked ourselves 'why' and 'what if' .....

And so 2011 will end on melancholic note but it also starts off for me a search into the meaning of death. The pioneering French sociologist, Durkheim in his famous research, Suicide, maintains that even the very individual and lonely act of suicide has actually a very social dimension. Henri Nouwen, my favorite writer, concludes that death unites us. For in death, there is not rich or poor, clever or stupid, handsome or ugly, good or bad and we shed the externals and become all equal.

How can a God who is loving and a creator, allow something so fearful as death to enter our lives? How can He allow His wonderful lovingly designed creations who were made in His vey own image to just vanish into nothingness?

So is Death an End or the Beginning of something else. Has the Creator another plan for us? Is Death then actually an entry into something marvelous? So amazing that even the creative Steve Jobs could say nothing but 'Wow, wow, wow' when he joined the Dead.

Sales down your Throat and Malaysia's Hottest Scams

2011-03-10T19:21:00.000-08:00

Everyday, I receive all sorts of unsolicited phone calls, smses, emails all asking me to buy, to subscribe and often claiming not to sell anything. The ones I hate most is when so-called friends want to 'share' a good thing because they don't want to be selfish and keep it to themselves. Of course they never share the good commissions they get. Usually, for me at least, it heralds the end of a friendship

Some people give in because they can't say 'no' but these days, one survival skill is to learn how to do it. When you march into the shopping complex, you feel like a lamb being surrounded by hungry wolves. Skinny and fat girls rushed towards me asking me to sign up for beauty schemes that helps me slim down (so blind that they don't realise I'm underweight), facials to get rid of zits (cant they see that I'm mother of teens, not one myself). Credit card application forms are pushed under my nose. I used to get out of it by saying that I'm unemployed but of late, even the unemployed are welcomed. Then the attempts to stop you walking around the shopping complex by forcing you to sit on their massage chairs. Once, I got so fed-up of the guy who chased me so hard that I decided to interrogate him and found out that he's got a diploma in engineering and proceeded to lecture him on the perils of selling massage chairs for the rest of him life. He seemed quite convinced and I do hope that he's now slogging in some boring engineering firm, not chasing shoppers in the mall to buy stuff. On another occasion, the poor souls said that they couldn't find a job with their diploma in psychology so they are selling hair products.My advice is to them: complete their degrees.

The worse scenario is when they try to intrude into your castle of a home. I encounter the dilemma of whether to hide myself whenever my door bell rings. Once I was unlucky enough to be outside when they struck. The two guys proceeded to scratch some lucky draw ticket on my behalf while my cat was screaming blue murder for his feed. Then they put on a rather convincing "I can't believe you're so lucky" performance. Sadly for them, I asked them to claim the prize themselves or give it to their friends. One day, I heard my normally quiet neighbours yelling 'Get out! Get Out!'These two girls had entered their compounds while they came home and refused to budge spilling out their sales pitch like a broken down record. On another occasion, the shouting over the fence ws like this:

Free, free lah. No obligation

No thanks.

Free, free of charge.

Duwan lah

Free aso duwan.

Free, you yourself take lah.

These days, the Jehovah

Witnesses are no longer the only ones who come to your doorstep nowadays. When the National Census takers came, I shouted to them in my broken pasar malay that I don't want to buy and all but slammed the door in their faces.

The more unfortunate situation is not when one is end up buying something unnecessary or not budgeted for. It's when one is conned or scammed and all the more so by relatives or friends. The following info is take from:

http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/615194

This is going to be long and take some of your time but reading this thread is much easier than creating it. So I hope you can spare this little time to finish reading it. Please caution your family members and friends before they become victims.
I hope you will read to the end for your own benefits and protection. I will come back regularly to update it but I hope some of you can help by contributing. Date of last update will be stated in my topic title.
I have even seen a family of parents and their children getting involved together in a scam. Such that you will not feel suspiscious until you could not recover your money back and realise it too late.
Please note that my message here is NOT meant to support or go against MLM or direct-selling business.
Personally, I have a few friends who used to tell me that they will never be cheated because they are not greedy, they don't believe in MLM or network marketing or they have no money. Yet they lost their money because they have been greedy or because they trusted their friends wrongly. In most cases, those who introduced their friends to get involved into such businesses or investments or got their friends into losing monies will never admit they did it intentionally but claim innocent. They will give the excuses that they are victims too.

These information are meant for you to know and warn your family members and loved ones before they become victims.

"People got victimised by scams because they don't know about it and they don't know about it because those who knew about it did not share it"

Here are some hot scams(new scams no.21 down below) in Malaysia, briefly, (I will elaborate more if you contribute):

1) The Cafe Scams - Island Red Cafe & Stevens Corner(strange, both in Pandan Indah) - Island Red Cafe collects members RM6,000 each and promised 5% return every month and even give you a name in the ROC as a shareholder but what's the point when they run away ? Stevens Corner, the famous indian coffee shop follows due to drop of business since their renovation. They collect RM3,000 per member and promise return of RM150 monthly and plans to open nice fanchisee cafe called StevensTeaGarden. Someone mentioned they will make you sign an agreement that give them the rights NOT to pay you anything in future. If you really wish to join, ask for a copy of their agreement and consult your lawyer BEFORE paying them. Bet you will NOT get a copy. Both collect monies from new members with MLM recruitment schemes and pay the old members like Sunshine Empire. You never know when they will run away.

2) Sunshine Empire - This licensed and legal Company has an impressive office at the ground level of KUB building along Jalan Yap Kwan Seng, near Menara Public Bank and AmBank Building. They also have a showroom office at the ground level in the next building. 2 or 3 months ago, Singapore's Straits Times and The Paper published big news reminding their people to be careful and NOT to believe in them. Hope someone can put up the link or google for it.(As expected, they STOPPED paying back members now and all investors LOST their money).

Someone below has put a link to the Singapore news. In fact there are more to it. Although Singapore is investigating them, they did not stop their business as the business is legal and so far, no Singaporean have failed to receive their commissions as promised. Thus, the government cannot stop them yet.

The news published that the founder, director and group president is someone named James Phang but he is NOT the owner. Isn't this quite strange ? At the end of the game, James Phang can just disappear from the Company easily and claimed that he was just "employed". Such trick always happened in scam businesses.

Now, the Company has STOPPED paying commissions and interests to members with the excuse that the Singapore government has freezed their bank account while under investigation. Do you think their boss will be so stupid to keep much monies in the bank to be freezed ? They are all transfered away. It's just an excuses not to pay back to members and members are only paid "e-bonus-points" which is cashless. If they wish to convert to cash, they have to recruit new members to pay them cash and the recruiter less out trom the amount. So victims act like Vampires and "forced" to victimise other victims if they wish to get their monies back. And their victims will later transform to vampires and the scam carries on.....

3) MOBILWALLET - This Company owned by 2 young men, Stanley & Rey Gan, office in Queens Avenue Park has collect multi-millions the last 2 years. Claimed that they tied up with Telekoms, Utility Board payment like Water & Electricity bills, even Maybank got fooled by them. Advertisement Billboards everywhere. They STOPPED paying back their members few months ago and the members cannot do anything because they are made to sign an agreement unaware that they have to claims if the company stopped paying them by CHANGING terms and policies.

4) Water businesses - Oxygenated and alkaline water products - Some of these are bottled water and some are filters or equipment that claimed the trick. One of the better known Company that sold "oxygen" water is SITO(supposed to stand for Selangor International Trading Organiszation and claimed Selangor State Government owned some share in it). The key person and founder is a Dato Robert Ong from Rawang but his name is no longer in the business now. Their products are sold for RM2 to RM3 for a 350ml bottle and now concentrating mostly in the Indian market. Their Chinese and Malays market are long gone since a year or 2 ago. Their customers are made to believe that their water has more oxygen and able to give miraculous effects for the body. Water is H2O, how to put more O into it ? Anyone knows how much oxygen do we breathe into our body everyday at FOC ? Latest news is that this SITO Company is going to create new label to market under a new Company since the SITO name has already gone bad. Someone informed that this Company is owing alot of money(due to refunds) to ex-stockists but just refuse to pay them.
(Latest news, SITO shifted to another place and their MLM business has closed but planning to start again with a different name, beware !!)
Alkaline Products - Can anyone explain how it can work for the body ? The stomach's gastric liquid is so acidic that water of any pH that goes through it will not make any difference.

5) Car Fuel Booster - K-Link, the famous scam MLM Company that sold the footpatch TAKARA, later the "cock-ring" and energy-card launched the patrol-saving pills last year. Got so hot that even grocery shops are selling for them. Recently many of these cars that used the pills are rushing to the workshops to clean the residual. Few months ago, another MLM Company launched a fuel booster gadget, claimed that saves up to 20% fuel, that is attached to the cigarette lighter. Started off well using binary plan but businese begin to fade now and most users find it NOT effective.

6) Perfumery Products(eg. Lampe Berger & Bel Air)(more details later). Lampe Berger is not so hot now in the neighbouring countries but there are still new victims every month in Malaysia. Must thanks to those who have contributed and kept the thread alive here in Kopitiam. Bel-Air have closed in Malaysia. LB is almost zero in Singapore. This perfumery product from France with over 100 years history are just bottles and fragrances(check the factory's website) but the Company marketing them in Asia claimed "aromatheraphy" products. Hong Kong TVB aired a program that exposed their scam but their members claimed that HK's TVB already apologised to them(no evidence, of course). Note that the biggest strenght in a MLM Scam is their members will go all the way to lie in order to defend for their Company. The reason is simple; these members fear that they will not be able to make their money back if the Company collapsed. Knowing that the Lampe Berger products are moving slow, they add a line of skincare products named Estebel, also claime to have over 100 years history in France.(Hardly anymore Chinese newcomers, they are now tapping the Malays in Malaysia). Mostly only Bumis active members now but their top earner Steven Yeam have already left and started a new MLM Company(see No. 21 below).

http://www.lampebergertruth.blogspot.com/

7) Energy Products(eg. stone pendants, bracelets, mattress and pillows). They use all sorts of gimmicks and demonstration to make you into believing them. They will do some tricks and demo to prove that these products really produce energy BUT is there any tricks in their demo ? So what if there really produce energy; is it good or strong enough to help the body ? Are those simple products made of some simple materials worth RM300 to up to RM3000 each ? The effect is actually PLACEBO which I will elaborate in a new thread soon.(more details later)

8) Hi-Tech products(names like bio-tech, nano-tech that claimed millions of dollars of research involved, eg Bio-Young and XKL few years ago). Most of these will claimed a professor behind them(even with name and picture of a person) or used words like "U.S.A. formula", "German Technology" or "Nanotechnology" but with no further details. If you ask for more details like the professor or factory's address, the answer will be "trade secrets".

9) Investment Schemes - SWISSCASH is the King of all. Swisscash is nearly over now but there are many similar and smaller ones that are still on.(Now, it's closed or stopped paying back members)

10) GoldQuest - This Company that claimed to be HK-based started with some non-value gold-plated coins that are sold for over RM2,000 have several names and changed products several times. QuestVacation, QuestNet, etc. They have several offices in Amcorp Mall, PJ and their key person(in fact, the owner), a Malaysian Indian was arrested last year in Indonesia for having involved in a very big Phillipines scam. Most of their overseas offices are closed or inactive but their Malaysia business is still hot, with some "energy" products.(Can someone please provide a link which showed the news that their boss was involved in a big scam in Philippines and was arrested last year ?)

11) Numerology & Fortune telling - A Company named Visiber is using MLM to sell fortune telling classes using your birthday based on Numerology fortune telling. Prpspects will be told that they need to buy a certain "number" between 1 to 9 in the form of pendants or bracelets made of silver with stainless steel or platinum plated, and sold from RM600 to RM20,000. Customers, or rather victims are mostly females from rural areas. Very hot in Penang now and a number of spin-off Companies have started.

12) MJ-Life - This Company boost of a very big background with many many years of history which is NOT true. Their people or associates may be long in business but nothing to do with their MLM launched recently. Why do I consider it a scam or bad ? New members are told to pay a sum of money(up to RM1000) and you get NOTHING for it. You only get a membership can entitle you to enjoy all sorts of special price and discounts when you have medical check-ups in their centres. They will claim all those check-ups cost more if done elsewhere. It's not true. Only the naive and those new to medical check-ups will fall victims to them. Most members who paid the money ended up with nothing.

13) Seaweed Venture Scams - 1 such Company is located in Taman Maluri, Cheras. They will ask you to invest a few thousands ringgits for their venture of growing seaweeds in East Malaysia and you are guaranteed returns. To gain your confidence further, they will tell you your investment money is secured by "insurance" or "unit trusts" & "trustees". When you ask for further documents to prove, they will give all sorts of excuses or just ignore you because they know they cannot get you. These Seaweed scam is one of the hottest now, warn all your friends about it before they are victimised.

14) MXM(previously MGM) - This is a master scam owned by a Dato Kam(Pathlab) tapping the younger group, very successful 2 or 3 years ago but since they moved to their big 10-storey office at Phileo Damansara and changed name to MXM, their business dropped. They collect members RM3,000 to RM4,000 with credit card monthly easy payment and in return you get a hospital benefits insurance from Pacific Insurance worth only a few hundred RMs together with some you-don't-need medical check-ups from their associate Company Pathlab. Also talk about fitness, lifestyles bullshit that is all worthless.

15) Gano Excel/I-Touch Life/GEW2u - This company from the north, a copycat of DXN selling Lingzhi capsules created a new Company called Gano iTouch to cash-in on the internet like e-Cosway after their Company went down the drain since the last 2 years, selling Linzhi and some no-value energy pendants and alkaline water gadgets. They provide free transport every weekend from KL to visit their Alor Star office. It did not work well and recently in mid-2009 changed name to GEW.

16) NuLife(HK) - This Company started by some HK people has been in Malaysia for more than 10 years but they have flopped in HK and Malaysia due to bad management and a product scam making use of a prosecuted American named Dr Jeffrey Bland, found guilty of false products claim. Since this case in the US leaked out and many Malaysians found out that the real boss in HK is a Steven Tang(he cheated many Malaysians in another scheme about 20 years ago) their business went down all the way. Now they claim Malaysian partners cheated them and start a new Company in Malaysia. Watch out, this new Company will come out with some investment scheme idea that will get many to lose their money.

17) Arowana Fish Breeding, Oora from Germany, Biofuel(Kompleks Maluri) etc - These are some newer scams. Arowana fish venture ask you to invest some money and give you fixed return. Biofuel will tell you their Indonesia connections(just like Sunshine Empire before using Taiwan) & Oora from Germany(I never trust those cruel Germans) that market some bio-chips and a gadget that claims to give energy and therapeutic effects of accupunture, tai-chi, yoga, etc depending how you set the toy-like gadget, wear it on your body and you get the effect later. They could not explain or provide any demonstration to prove their effectiveness. Only doctors and papers claim that I will never trust. The health effect is actually PLACEBO, which I will elaborate in a different thread.

18) Easy-Pharmax !! - How could I missed this out earlier. I thought I mentioned this until I got e-mails asking me about it. This is easily in the TOP 3 during the last 2 years. Owned by a Dato Yeap(another Dato !!) Members are tricked to invest up to RM40,000 with the false promise that the Company will use e-commerce and online selling to dispose their goods and recover their monies. It won't happen, of course.

19) Gold Investment Scheme - This is an old trick but back again by several Companies promising a GURANTEE FIXED RETURN income like many other schemes. Try to ask for a copy of their fixed return agreement and consult your lawyer. Common sense tell you any business that promises a fixed return to UNLIMITED numbers of investors, higher than bank interests must be a scam.

20) Score-A or Skor-A: This Company sells you an online program of past Malaysian examinations papers for primary and secondary school students for self-testing for up to a few hundred RMs per membership. It actually cost them nothing. Members are told to invest in a few units, again using MLM with the promise of getting rich. The same program can be purchased from Utusan for just a fraction of their price and you can get better programs.

21) NEW SCAMS :

a) GRI(Global Royal International) - The boss behind this scheme is multi-billionaire James Pang(the big scammer waiting for trial in Singapore because of Sunshine Empire). Before Sunshine Empire, he operated NOP and SwissCash. This time, he is using a lot of representatives and MLM leaders since his passport is held by Singapore government and he cannot come to Malaysia. I am told that anyone who is bold enough to call himself a MLM leader in Malaysia can visit his rep in Malaysia or Singapre and they will be given at least RM5,000 as some expenses subdsidy if you are willing to market for them.

b) One Community Worldwide - Tapping a mostly Bumi market and owned by Steven Yeam(SYN) and Willie Lim of Lampe Berger previously(the Chinese no longer trust them). They are selling a negative ion mattress for RM25,000 !! The same modal, I have seen before for RM2000 from Korea. If you cannot afford RM25K ??? You can buy therapy package for RM300. Don't believe in such product ? You can go for some chlorostrum(virgin cow's milk from nowhere)

c) English-Learning Program Online - ESL(an online English learning program) You are asked to pay RM100 for one or 2 years usage of online learning. Started by a Malaysian Indian man by the name of Dr. Edward, this program has changed names at least 2 or 3 times since the last one year due to poor response and a lot of "technical problems". I consider it a scam because you are paying money for nothing tangible to direct-selling company through MLM and their program has been very "unstable" as my source put it.

Lastly but not least, thank you for reading to the end and I hope you can come back for more details and updates or help to contribute for me to update. I hope to receive information of any scams so that I can share them here to protect others. Although most of those above-mentioned are marketed through direct-selling or MLM schemes, I will soon add non-MLM scams. Please contribute.

If you wish to send me any new information confidentially, you may email them to me at:

stopscams007@yahoo.com; or
stopscams007@gmail.com

Good Luck.

PS. Please pass this link to your friends if you find it helpful and thank you to those who contributed or e-mailed me with informations.

The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination | Harvard Magazine

2010-11-11T21:25:00.000-08:00

To my two lovely children who are graduating from their courses, I offer to them this bit of wisdom fro none other then J K Rowling, the inventor of Harry Potter:

The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination | Harvard Magazine

What Men Live By

2010-09-07T04:33:00.000-07:00

This is a beautiful story by Leo Tolstoy, the renown writer of War and Peace. It was a story I read long, long ago and thanks to Internet, I can now download it for sharing.

Leo Tolstoy

What Men Live By

“We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not abideth in death.” — 1 “Epistle St. John” iii. 14.

“Whoso hath the world’s goods, and beholdeth his brother in need, and shutteth up his compassion from him, how doth the love of God abide in him? My little children, let us not love in word, neither with the tongue; but in deed and truth.” — iii. 17-18.

“Love is of God; and every one that loveth is begotten of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.” -iv. 7-8.

“No man hath beheld God at any time; if we love one another, God abideth in us.” — iv. 12.

“God is love; and he that abideth in love abideth in God, and God abideth in him.” — iv. 16.

“If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar; for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?” — iv. 20.

A shoemaker named Simon, who had neither house nor land of his own, lived with his wife and children in a peasant’s hut, and earned his living by his work. Work was cheap, but bread was dear, and what he earned he spent for food. The man and his wife had but one sheepskin coat between them for winter wear, and even that was torn to tatters, and this was the second year he had been wanting to buy sheep-skins for a new coat. Before winter Simon saved up a little money: a three-rouble note lay hidden in his wife’s box, and five roubles and twenty kopeks were owed him by customers in the village.

So one morning he prepared to go to the village to buy the sheep-skins. He put on over his shirt his wife’s wadded nankeen jacket, and over that he put his own cloth coat. He took the three-rouble note in his pocket, cut himself a stick to serve as a staff, and started off after breakfast. “I’ll collect the five roubles that are due to me,” thought he, “add the three I have got, and that will be enough to buy sheep-skins for the winter coat.”

He came to the village and called at a peasant’s hut, but the man was not at home. The peasant’s wife promised that the money should be paid next week, but she would not pay it herself. Then Simon called on another peasant, but this one swore he had no money, and would only pay twenty kopeks which he owed for a pair of boots Simon had mended. Simon then tried to buy the sheep-skins on credit, but the dealer would not trust him.

“Bring your money,” said he, “then you may have your pick of the skins. We know what debt-collecting is like.” So all the business the shoemaker did was to get the twenty kopeks for boots he had mended, and to take a pair of felt boots a peasant gave him to sole with leather.

Simon felt downhearted. He spent the twenty kopeks on vodka, and started homewards without having bought any skins. In the morning he had felt the frost; but now, after drinking the vodka, he felt warm, even without a sheep-skin coat. He trudged along, striking his stick on the frozen earth with one hand, swinging the felt boots with the other, and talking to himself.

I

“I’m quite warm,” said he, “though I have no sheep-skin coat. I’ve had a drop, and it runs through all my veins. I need no sheep-skins. I go along and don’t worry about anything. That’s the sort of man I am! What do I care? I can live without sheep-skins. I don’t need them. My wife will fret, to be sure. And, true enough, it is a shame; one works all day long, and then does not get paid. Stop a bit! If you don’t bring that money along, sure enough I’ll skin you, blessed if I don’t. How’s that? He pays twenty kopeks at a time! What can I do with twenty kopeks? Drink it-that’s all one can do! Hard up, he says he is! So he may be — but what about me? You have a house, and cattle, and everything; I’ve only what I stand up in! You have corn of your own growing; I have to buy every grain. Do what I will, I must spend three roubles every week for bread alone. I come home and find the bread all used up, and I have to fork out another rouble and a half. So just pay up what you owe, and no nonsense about it!”

By this time he had nearly reached the shrine at the bend of the road. Looking up, he saw something whitish behind the shrine. The daylight was fading, and the shoemaker peered at the thing without being able to make out what it was. “There was no white stone here before. Can it be an ox? It’s not like an ox. It has a head like a man, but it’s too white; and what could a man be doing there?”

He came closer, so that it was clearly visible. To his surprise it really was a man, alive or dead, sitting naked, leaning motionless against the shrine. Terror seized the shoemaker, and he thought, “Some one has killed him, stripped him, and left him there. If I meddle I shall surely get into trouble.”

So the shoemaker went on. He passed in front of the shrine so that he could not see the man. When he had gone some way, he looked back, and saw that the man was no longer leaning against the shrine, but was moving as if looking towards him. The shoemaker felt more frightened than before, and thought, “Shall I go back to him, or shall I go on? If I go near him something dreadful may happen. Who knows who the fellow is? He has not come here for any good. If I go near him he may jump up and throttle me, and there will be no getting away. Or if not, he’d still be a burden on one’s hands. What could I do with a naked man? I couldn’t give him my last clothes. Heaven only help me to get away!”
So the shoemaker hurried on, leaving the shrine behind him-when suddenly his conscience smote him, and he stopped in the road.

“What are you doing, Simon?” said he to himself. “The man may be dying of want, and you slip past afraid. Have you grown so rich as to be afraid of robbers? Ah, Simon, shame on you!”

So he turned back and went up to the man.

II

Simon approached the stranger, looked at him, and saw that he was a young man, fit, with no bruises on his body, only evidently freezing and frightened, and he sat there leaning back without looking up at Simon, as if too faint to lift his eyes. Simon went close to him, and then the man seemed to wake up. Turning his head, he opened his eyes and looked into Simon’s face. That one look was enough to make Simon fond of the man. He threw the felt boots on the ground, undid his sash, laid it on the boots, and took off his cloth coat.

“It’s not a time for talking,” said he. “Come, put this coat on at once!” And Simon took the man by the elbows and helped him to rise. As he stood there, Simon saw that his body was clean and in good condition, his hands and feet shapely, and his face good and kind. He threw his coat over the man’s shoulders, but the latter could not find the sleeves. Simon guided his arms into them, and drawing the coat well on, wrapped it closely about him, tying the sash round the man’s waist.

Simon even took off his torn cap to put it on the man’s head, but then his own head felt cold, and he thought: “I’m quite bald, while he has long curly hair.” So he put his cap on his own head again. “It will be better to give him something for his feet,” thought he; and he made the man sit down, and helped him to put on the felt boots, saying, “There, friend, now move about and warm yourself. Other matters can be settled later on. Can you walk?”

The man stood up and looked kindly at Simon, but could not say a word.

“Why don’t you speak?” said Simon. “It’s too cold to stay here, we must be getting home. There now, take my stick, and if you’re feeling weak, lean on that. Now step out!”

The man started walking, and moved easily, not lagging behind.

As they went along, Simon asked him, “And where do you belong to?” “I’m not from these parts.”

“I thought as much. I know the folks hereabouts. But, how did you come to be there by the shrine ?”

“I cannot tell.”

“Has some one been ill-treating you?”

“No one has ill-treated me. God has punished me.”

“Of course God rules all. Still, you’ll have to find food and shelter somewhere. Where do you want to go to?”

“It is all the same to me.”

Simon was amazed. The man did not look like a rogue, and he spoke gently, but yet he gave no account of himself. Still Simon thought, “Who knows what may have happened?” And he said to the stranger: “Well then, come home with me, and at least warm yourself awhile.”

So Simon walked towards his home, and the stranger kept up with him, walking at his side. The wind had risen and Simon felt it cold under his shirt. He was getting over his tipsiness by now, and began to feel the frost. He went along sniffling and wrapping his wife’s coat round him, and he thought to himself: “There now — talk about sheep-skins! I went out for sheep-skins and come home without even a coat to my back, and what is more, I’m bringing a naked man along with me. Matryona won’t be pleased!” And when he thought of his wife he felt sad; but when he looked at the stranger and remembered how he had looked up at him at the shrine, his heart was glad.

III

Simon’s wife had everything ready early that day. She had cut wood, brought water, fed the children, eaten her own meal, and now she sat thinking. She wondered when she ought to make bread: now or tomorrow? There was still a large piece left.

“If Simon has had some dinner in town,” thought she, “and does not eat much for supper, the bread will last out another day.”

She weighed the piece of bread in her hand again and again, and thought: “I won’t make any more today. We have only enough flour left to bake one batch; We can manage to make this last out till Friday.”

So Matryona put away the bread, and sat down at the table to patch her husband’s shirt. While she worked she thought how her husband was buying skins for a winter coat.

“If only the dealer does not cheat him. My good man is much too simple; he cheats nobody, but any child can take him in. Eight roubles is a lot of money — he should get a good coat at that price. Not tanned skins, but still a proper winter coat. How difficult it was last winter to get on without a warm coat. I could neither get down to the river, nor go out anywhere. When he went out he put on all we had, and there was nothing left for me. He did not start very early today, but still it’s time he was back. I only hope he has not gone on the spree!”

Hardly had Matryona thought this, when steps were heard on the threshold, and some one entered. Matryona stuck her needle into her work and went out into the passage. There she saw two men: Simon, and with him a man without a hat, and wearing felt boots.

Matryona noticed at once that her husband smelt of spirits. “There now, he has been drinking,” thought she. And when she saw that he was coatless, had only her jacket on, brought no parcel, stood there silent, and seemed ashamed, her heart was ready to break with disappointment. “He has drunk the money,” thought she, “and has been on the spree with some good-for-nothing fellow whom he has brought home with him.”

Matryona let them pass into the hut, followed them in, and saw that the stranger was a young, slight man, wearing her husband’s coat. There was no shirt to be seen under it, and he had no hat. Having entered, he stood, neither moving, nor raising his eyes, and Matryona thought: “He must be a bad man — he’s afraid.”

Matryona frowned, and stood beside the oven looking to see what they would do.

Simon took off his cap and sat down on the bench as if things were all right.

“Come, Matryona; if supper is ready, let us have some.”

Matryona muttered something to herself and did not move, but stayed where she was, by the oven. She looked first at the one and then at the other of them, and only shook her head. Simon saw that his wife was annoyed, but tried to pass it off. Pretending not to notice anything, he took the stranger by the arm.

“Sit down, friend,” said he, “and let us have some supper.”

The stranger sat down on the bench.

“Haven’t you cooked anything for us?” said Simon.

Matryona’s anger boiled over. “I’ve cooked, but not for you. It seems to me you have drunk your wits away. You went to buy a sheep-skin coat, but come home without so much as the coat you had on, and bring a naked vagabond home with you. I have no supper for drunkards like you.”

“That’s enough, Matryona. Don’t wag your tongue without reason. You had better ask what sort of man —”

“And you tell me what you’ve done with the money?”

Simon found the pocket of the jacket, drew out the three-rouble note, and unfolded it.

“Here is the money. Trifonof did not pay, but promises to pay soon.”

Matryona got still more angry; he had bought no sheep-skins, but had put his only coat on some naked fellow and had even brought him to their house.

She snatched up the note from the table, took it to put away in safety, and said: “I have no supper for you. We can’t feed all the naked drunkards in the world.”

“There now, Matryona, hold your tongue a bit. First hear what a man has to say-”

“Much wisdom I shall hear from a drunken fool. I was right in not wanting to marry you-a drunkard. The linen my mother gave me you drank; and now you’ve been to buy a coat-and have drunk it, too!”

Simon tried to explain to his wife that he had only spent twenty kopeks; tried to tell how he had found the man — but Matryona would not let him get a word in. She talked nineteen to the dozen, and dragged in things that had happened ten years before.

Matryona talked and talked, and at last she flew at Simon and seized him by the sleeve.

“Give me my jacket. It is the only one I have, and you must needs take it from me and wear it yourself. Give it here, you mangy dog, and may the devil take you.”

Simon began to pull off the jacket, and turned a sleeve of it inside out; Matryona seized the jacket and it burst its seams, She snatched it up, threw it over her head and went to the door. She meant to go out, but stopped undecided — she wanted to work off her anger, but she also wanted to learn what sort of a man the stranger was.

IV

Matryona stopped and said: “If he were a good man he would not be naked. Why, he hasn’t even a shirt on him. If he were all right, you would say where you came across the fellow.”

“That’s just what I am trying to tell you,” said Simon. “As I came to the shrine I saw him sitting all naked and frozen. It isn’t quite the weather to sit about naked! God sent me to him, or he would have perished. What was I to do? How do we know what may have happened to him? So I took him, clothed him, and brought him along. Don’t be so angry, Matryona. It is a sin. Remember, we all must die one day.”

Angry words rose to Matryona’s lips, but she looked at the stranger and was silent. He sat on the edge of the bench, motionless, his hands folded on his knees, his head drooping on his breast, his eyes closed, and his brows knit as if in pain. Matryona was silent: and Simon said: “Matryona, have you no love of God?”

Matryona heard these words, and as she looked at the stranger, suddenly her heart softened towards him. She came back from the door, and going to the oven she got out the supper. Setting a cup on the table, she poured out some kvas. Then she brought out the last piece of bread, and set out a knife and spoons.

“Eat, if you want to,” said she.

Simon drew the stranger to the table.

“Take your place, young man,” said he.

Simon cut the bread, crumbled it into the broth, and they began to eat. Matryona sat at the corner of the table resting her head on her hand and looking at the stranger.

And Matryona was touched with pity for the stranger, and began to feel fond of him. And at once the stranger’s face lit up; his brows were no longer bent, he raised his eyes and smiled at Matryona.

When they had finished supper, the woman cleared away the things and began questioning the stranger. “Where are you from?” said she.

“I am not from these parts.”

“But how did you come to be on the road?”

“I may not tell.”

“Did some one rob you?”

“God punished me.”

“And you were lying there naked?”

“Yes, naked and freezing. Simon saw me and had pity on me. He took off his coat, put it on me and brought me here. And you have fed me, given me drink, and shown pity on me. God will reward you!”

Matryona rose, took from the window Simon’s old shirt she had been patching, and gave it to the stranger. She also brought out a pair of trousers for him.

“There,” said she, “I see you have no shirt. Put this on, and lie down where you please, in the loft or on the oven .”

The stranger took off the coat, put on the shirt, and lay down in the loft. Matryona put out the candle, took the coat, and climbed to where her husband lay.

Matryona drew the skirts of the coat over her and lay down, but could not sleep; she could not get the stranger out of her mind.

When she remembered that he had eaten their last piece of bread and that there was none for tomorrow, and thought of the shirt and trousers she had given away, she felt grieved; but when she remembered how he had smiled, her heart was glad.

Long did Matryona lie awake, and she noticed that Simon also was awake — he drew the coat towards him.

“Simon!”

“Well?”

“You have had the last of the bread, and I have not put any to rise. I don’t know what we shall do tomorrow. Perhaps I can borrow some of neighbor Martha.”

“If we’re alive we shall find something to eat.”

The woman lay still awhile, and then said, “He seems a good man, but why does he not tell us who he is?”

“I suppose he has his reasons.”

“Simon!”

“Well?”

“We give; but why does nobody give us anything?”

Simon did not know what to say; so he only said, “Let us stop talking,” and turned over and went to sleep.

V

In the morning Simon awoke. The children were still asleep; his wife had gone to the neighbor’s to borrow some bread. The stranger alone was sitting on the bench, dressed in the old shirt and trousers, and looking upwards. His face was brighter than it had been the day before.

Simon said to him, “Well, friend; the belly wants bread, and the naked body clothes. One has to work for a living What work do you know?”

“I do not know any.”

This surprised Simon, but he said, “Men who want to learn can learn anything.”

“Men work, and I will work also.”

“What is your name?”

“Michael.”

“Well, Michael, if you don’t wish to talk about yourself, that is your own affair; but you’ll have to earn a living for yourself. If you will work as I tell you, I will give you food and shelter.”

“May God reward you! I will learn. Show me what to do.”

Simon took yarn, put it round his thumb and began to twist it.

“It is easy enough — see!”

Michael watched him, put some yarn round his own thumb in the same way, caught the knack, and twisted the yarn also.

Then Simon showed him how to wax the thread. This also Michael mastered. Next Simon showed him how to twist the bristle in, and how to sew, and this, too, Michael learned at once.

Whatever Simon showed him he understood at once, and after three days he worked as if he had sewn boots all his life. He worked without stopping, and ate little. When work was over he sat silently, looking upwards. He hardly went into the street, spoke only when necessary, and neither joked nor laughed. They never saw him smile, except that first evening when Matryona gave them supper.

VI

Day by day and week by week the year went round. Michael lived and worked with Simon. His fame spread till people said that no one sewed boots so neatly and strongly as Simon’s workman, Michael; and from all the district round people came to Simon for their boots, and he began to be well off.

One winter day, as Simon and Michael sat working, a carriage on sledge-runners, with three horses and with bells, drove up to the hut. They looked out of the window; the carriage stopped at their door, a fine servant jumped down from the box and opened the door. A gentleman in a fur coat got out and walked up to Simon’s hut. Up jumped Matryona and opened the door wide. The gentleman stooped to enter the hut, and when he drew himself up again his head nearly reached the ceiling, and he seemed quite to fill his end of the room.

Simon rose, bowed, and looked at the gentleman with astonishment. He had never seen any one like him. Simon himself was lean, Michael was thin, and Matryona was dry as a bone, but this man was like some one from another world: red-faced, burly, with a neck like a bull’s, and looking altogether as if he were cast in iron.

The gentleman puffed, threw off his fur coat, sat down on the bench, and said, “Which of you is the master bootmaker?”

“I am, your Excellency,” said Simon, coming forward.

Then the gentleman shouted to his lad, “Hey, Fedka, bring the leather!”

The servant ran in, bringing a parcel. The gentleman took the parcel and put it on the table.

“Untie it,” said he. The lad untied it.

The gentleman pointed to the leather.

“Look here, shoemaker,” said he, “do you see this leather?”

“Yes, your honor.”

“But do you know what sort of leather it is?”

Simon felt the leather and said, “It is good leather.”

“Good, indeed! Why, you fool, you never saw such leather before in your life. It’s German, and cost twenty roubles.”

Simon was frightened, and said, “Where should I ever see leather like that?”

“Just so! Now, can you make it into boots for me?”

“Yes, your Excellency, I can.”

Then the gentleman shouted at him: “You can, can you? Well, remember whom you are to make them for, and what the leather is. You must make me boots that will wear for a year, neither losing shape nor coming unsown. If you can do it, take the leather and cut it up; but if you can’t, say so. I warn you now if your boots become unsewn or lose shape within a year, I will have you put in prison. If they don’t burst or lose shape for a year I will pay you ten roubles for your work.”

Simon was frightened, and did not know what to say. He glanced at Michael and nudging him with his elbow, whispered: “Shall I take the work?”

Michael nodded his head as if to say, “Yes, take it.”

Simon did as Michael advised, and undertook to make boots that would not lose shape or split for a whole year.

Calling his servant, the gentleman told him to pull the boot off his left leg, which he stretched out.

“Take my measure!” said he.

Simon stitched a paper measure seventeen inches long, smoothed it out, knelt down, wiped his hand well on his apron so as not to soil the gentleman’s sock, and began to measure. He measured the sole, and round the instep, and began to measure the calf of the leg, but the paper was too short. The calf of the leg was as thick as a beam.

“Mind you don’t make it too tight in the leg.”

Simon stitched on another strip of paper. The gentleman twitched his toes about in his sock, looking round at those in the hut, and as he did so he noticed Michael.

“Whom have you there?” asked he.

“That is my workman. He will sew the boots.”

“Mind,” said the gentleman to Michael, “remember to make them so that they will last me a year.”

Simon also looked at Michael, and saw that Michael was not looking at the gentleman, but was gazing into the corner behind the gentleman, as if he saw some one there. Michael looked and looked, and suddenly he smiled, and his face became brighter.

“What are you grinning at, you fool?” thundered the gentleman. “You had better look to it that the boots are ready in time.”

“They shall be ready in good time,” said Michael.

“Mind it is so,” said the gentleman, and he put on his boots and his fur coat, wrapped the latter round him, and went to the door. But he forgot to stoop, and struck his head against the lintel.

He swore and rubbed his head. Then he took his seat in the carriage and drove away.

When he had gone, Simon said: “There’s a figure of a man for you! You could not kill him with a mallet. He almost knocked out the lintel, but little harm it did him.”

And Matryona said: “Living as he does, how should he not grow strong? Death itself can’t touch such a rock as that.”

VII

Then Simon said to Michael: “Well, we have taken the work, but we must see we don’t get into trouble over it. The leather is dear, and the gentleman hot-tempered. We must make no mistakes. Come, your eye is truer and your hands have become nimbler than mine, so you take this measure and cut out the boots. I will finish off the sewing of the vamps.”

Michael did as he was told. He took the leather, spread it out on the table, folded it in two, took a knife and began to cut out.

Matryona came and watched him cutting, and was surprised to see how he was doing it. Matryona was accustomed to seeing boots made, and she looked and saw that Michael was not cutting the leather for boots, but was cutting it round.

She wished to say something, but she thought to herself: “Perhaps I do not understand how gentleman’s boots should be made. I suppose Michael knows more about it — and I won’t interfere.”

When Michael had cut up the leather, he took a thread and began to sew not with two ends, as boots are sewn, but with a single end, as for soft slippers.

Again Matryona wondered, but again she did not interfere. Michael sewed on steadily till noon. Then Simon rose for dinner, looked around, and saw that Michael had made slippers out of the gentleman’s leather.

“Ah,” groaned Simon, and he thought, “How is it that Michael, who has been with me a whole year and never made a mistake before, should do such a dreadful thing? The gentleman ordered high boots, welted, with whole fronts, and Michael has made soft slippers with single soles, and has wasted the leather. What am I to say to the gentleman? I can never replace leather such as this.”

And he said to Michael, “What are you doing, friend? You have ruined me! You know the gentleman ordered high boots, but see what you have made!”

Hardly had he begun to rebuke Michael, when “rat-tat” went the iron ring that hung at the door. Some one was knocking. They looked out of the window; a man had come on horseback, and was fastening his horse. They opened the door, and the servant who had been with the gentleman came in.

“Good day,” said he.

Good day,” replied Simon. “What can we do for you?”

“My mistress has sent me about the boots.”

“What about the boots?”

“Why, my master no longer needs them. He is dead.”

“Is it possible?”

“He did not live to get home after leaving you, but died in the carriage. When we reached home and the servants came to help him alight, he rolled over like a sack. He was dead already, and so stiff that he could hardly be got out of the carriage. My mistress sent me here, saying: ‘Tell the bootmaker that the gentleman who ordered boots of him and left the leather for them no longer needs the boots, but that he must quickly make soft slippers for the corpse. Wait till they are ready, and bring them back with you.’ That is why I have come.”

Michael gathered up the remnants of the leather; rolled them up, took the soft slippers he had made, slapped them together, wiped them down with his apron, and handed them and the roll of leather to the servant, who took them and said: “Good-bye, masters, and good day to you!”

VIII

Another year passed, and another, and Michael was now living his sixth year with Simon. He lived as before. He went nowhere, only spoke when necessary, and had only smiled twice in all those years — once when Matryona gave him food, and a second time when the gentleman was in their hut. Simon was more than pleased with his workman. He never now asked him where he came from, and only feared lest Michael should go away.

They were all at home one day. Matryona was putting iron pots in the oven; the children were running along the benches and looking out of the window; Simon was sewing at one window, and Michael was fastening on a heel at the other.

One of the boys ran along the bench to Michael, leant on his shoulder, and looked out of the window.

“Look, Uncle Michael! There is a lady with little girls! She seems to be coming here. And one of the girls is lame.”

When the boy said that, Michael dropped his work, turned to the window, and looked out into the street.

Simon was surprised. Michael never used to look out into the street, but now he pressed against the window, staring at something. Simon also looked out, and saw that a well-dressed woman was really coming to his hut, leading by the hand two little girls in fur coats and woolen shawls. The girls could hardly be told one from the other, except that one of them was crippled in her left leg and walked with a limp.

The woman stepped into the porch and entered the passage. Feeling about for the entrance she found the latch, which she lifted, and opened the door. She let the two girls go in first, and followed them into the hut.

“Good day, good folk!”

“Pray come in,” said Simon. “What can we do for you?”

The woman sat down by the table. The two little girls pressed close to her knees, afraid of the people in the hut.

“I want leather shoes made for these two little girls for spring.”

“We can do that. We never have made such small shoes, but we can make them; either welted or turnover shoes, linen lined. My man, Michael, is a master at the work.”

Simon glanced at Michael and saw that he had left his work and was sitting with his eyes fixed on the little girls. Simon was surprised. It was true the girls were pretty, with black eyes, plump, and rosy-cheeked, and they wore nice kerchiefs and fur coats, but still Simon could not understand why Michael should look at them like that — just as if he had known them before. He was puzzled, but went on talking with the woman, and arranging the price. Having fixed it, he prepared the measure. The woman lifted the lame girl on to her lap and said: “Take two measures from this little girl. Make one shoe for the lame foot and three for the sound one. They both have the same size feet. They are twins.”

Simon took the measure and, speaking of the lame girl, said: “How did it happen to her? She is such a pretty girl. Was she born so?”

“No, her mother crushed her leg.”

Then Matryona joined in. She wondered who this woman was, and whose the children were, so she said: “Are not you their mother then?”

“No, my good woman; I am neither their mother nor any relation to them. They were quite strangers to me, but I adopted them.”

“They are not your children and yet you are so fond of them?”

“How can I help being fond of them? I fed them both at my own breasts. I had a child of my own, but God took him. I was not so fond of him as I now am of them.”

“Then whose children are they?”

IX

The woman, having begun talking, told them the whole story.

“It is about six years since their parents died, both in one week: their father was buried on the Tuesday, and their mother died on the Friday. These orphans were born three days after their father’s death, and their mother did not live another day. My husband and I were then living as peasants in the village. We were neighbors of theirs, our yard being next to theirs. Their father was a lonely man; a wood-cutter in the forest. When felling trees one day, they let one fall on him. It fell across his body and crushed his bowels out. They hardly got him home before his soul went to God; and that same week his wife gave birth to twins — these little girls. She was poor and alone; she had no one, young or old, with her. Alone she gave them birth, and alone she met her death.”

“The next morning I went to see her, but when I entered the hut, she, poor thing, was already stark and cold. In dying she had rolled on to this child and crushed her leg. The village folk came to the hut, washed the body, laid her out, made a coffin, and buried her. They were good folk. The babies were left alone. What was to be done with them? I was the only woman there who had a baby at the time. I was nursing my first-born — eight weeks old. So I took them for a time. The peasants came together, and thought and thought what to do with them; and at last they said to me: “For the present, Mary, you had better keep the girls, and later on we will arrange what to do for them.” So I nursed the sound one at my breast, but at first I did not feed this crippled one. I did not suppose she would live. But then I thought to myself, why should the poor innocent suffer? I pitied her, and began to feed her. And so I fed my own boy and these two — the three of them — at my own breast. I was young and strong, and had good food, and God gave me so much milk that at times it even overflowed. I used sometimes to feed two at a time, while the third was waiting. When one had enough I nursed the third. And God so ordered it that these grew up, while my own was buried before he was two years old. And I had no more children, though we prospered. Now my husband is working for the corn merchant at the mill. The pay is good, and we are well off. But I have no children of my own, and how lonely I should be without these little girls! How can I help loving them! They are the joy of my life!”

She pressed the lame little girl to her with one hand, while with the other she wiped the tears from her cheeks.

And Matryona sighed, and said: “The proverb is true that says, ‘One may live without father or mother, but one cannot live without God.’”

So they talked together, when suddenly the whole hut was lighted up as though by summer lightning from the corner where Michael sat. They all looked towards him and saw him sitting, his hands folded on his knees, gazing upwards and smiling.

X

The woman went away with the girls. Michael rose from the bench, put down his work, and took off his apron. Then, bowing low to Simon and his wife, he said: “Farewell, masters. God has forgiven me. I ask your forgiveness, too, for anything done amiss.”

And they saw that a light shone from Michael. And Simon rose, bowed down to Michael, and said: “I see, Michael, that you are no common man, and I can neither keep you nor question you. Only tell me this: how is it that when I found you and brought you home, you were gloomy, and when my wife gave you food you smiled at her and became brighter? Then when the gentleman came to order the boots, you smiled again and became brighter still? And now, when this woman brought the little girls, you smiled a third time, and have become as bright as day? Tell me, Michael, why does your face shine so, and why did you smile those three times?”

And Michael answered: “Light shines from me because I have been punished, but now God has pardoned me. And I smiled three times, because God sent me to learn three truths, and I have learnt them. One I learnt when your wife pitied me, and that is why I smiled the first time. The second I learnt when the rich man ordered the boots, and then I smiled again. And now, when I saw those little girls, I learn the third and last truth, and I smiled the third time.”

And Simon said, “Tell me, Michael, what did God punish you for? and what were the three truths? that I, too, may know them.”

And Michael answered: “God punished me for disobeying Him. I was an angel in heaven and disobeyed God. God sent me to fetch a woman’s soul. I flew to earth, and saw a sick woman lying alone, who had just given birth to twin girls. They moved feebly at their mother’s side, but she could not lift them to her breast. When she saw me, she understood that God had sent me for her soul, and she wept and said: ‘Angel of God! My husband has just been buried, killed by a falling tree. I have neither sister, nor aunt, nor mother: no one to care for my orphans. Do not take my soul! Let me nurse my babes, feed them, and set them on their feet before I die. Children cannot live without father or mother.’ And I hearkened to her. I placed one child at her breast and gave the other into her arms, and returned to the Lord in heaven. I flew to the Lord, and said: ‘I could not take the soul of the mother. Her husband was killed by a tree; the woman has twins, and prays that her soul may not be taken. She says: “Let me nurse and feed my children, and set them on their feet. Children cannot live without father or mother.” I have not taken her soul.’ And God said: ‘Go-take the mother’s soul, and learn three truths: Learn What dwells in man, What is not given to man, and What men live by. When thou has learnt these things, thou shalt return to heaven.’ So I flew again to earth and took the mother’s soul. The babes dropped from her breasts. Her body rolled over on the bed and crushed one babe, twisting its leg. I rose above the village, wishing to take her soul to God; but a wind seized me, and my wings drooped and dropped off. Her soul rose alone to God, while I fell to earth by the roadside.”

XI

And Simon and Matryona understood who it was that had lived with them, and whom they had clothed and fed. And they wept with awe and with joy. And the angel said: “I was alone in the field, naked. I had never known human needs, cold and hunger, till I became a man. I was famished, frozen, and did not know what to do. I saw, near the field I was in, a shrine built for God, and I went to it hoping to find shelter. But the shrine was locked, and I could not enter. So I sat down behind the shrine to shelter myself at least from the wind. Evening drew on. I was hungry, frozen, and in pain. Suddenly I heard a man coming along the road. He carried a pair of boots, and was talking to himself. For the first time since I became a man I saw the mortal face of a man, and his face seemed terrible to me and I turned from it. And I heard the man talking to himself of how to cover his body from the cold in winter, and how to feed wife and children. And I thought: “I am perishing of cold and hunger, and here is a man thinking only of how to clothe himself and his wife, and how to get bread for themselves. He cannot help me. When the man saw me he frowned and became still more terrible, and passed me by on the other side. I despaired; but suddenly I heard him coming back. I looked up, and did not recognize the same man; before, I had seen death in his face; but now he was alive, and I recognized in him the presence of God. He came up to me, clothed me, took me with him, and brought me to his home. I entered the house; a woman came to meet us and began to speak. The woman was still more terrible than the man had been; the spirit of death came from her mouth; I could not breathe for the stench of death that spread around her. She wished to drive me out into the cold, and I knew that if she did so she would die. Suddenly her husband spoke to her of God, and the woman changed at once. And when she brought me food and looked at me, I glanced at her and saw that death no longer dwelt in her; she had become alive, and in her, too, I saw God.

“Then I remembered the first lesson God had set me: ‘Learn what dwells in man.’ And I understood that in man dwells Love! I was glad that God had already begun to show me what He had promised, and I smiled for the first time. But I had not yet learnt all. I did not yet know What is not given to man, and What men live by.

“I lived with you, and a year passed. A man came to order boots that should wear for a year without losing shape or cracking. I looked at him, and suddenly, behind his shoulder, I saw my comrade — the angel of death. None but me saw that angel; but I knew him, and knew that before the sun set he would take that rich man’s soul. And I thought to myself, ‘The man is making preparations for a year, and does not know that he will die before evening.’ And I remembered God’s second saying, ‘Learn what is not given to man.’

“What dwells in man I already knew. Now I learnt what is not given him. It is not given to man to know his own needs. And I smiled for the second time. I was glad to have seen my comrade angel — glad also that God had revealed to me the second saying.

“But I still did not know all. I did not know What men live by. And I lived on, waiting till God should reveal to me the last lesson. In the sixth year came the girl-twins with the woman; and I recognized the girls, and heard how they had been kept alive. Having heard the story, I thought, ‘Their mother besought me for the children’s sake, and I believed her when she said that children cannot live without father or mother; but a stranger has nursed them, and has brought them up.’ And when the woman showed her love for the children that were not her own, and wept over them, I saw in her the living God and understood What men live by. And I knew that God had revealed to me the last lesson, and had forgiven my sin. And then I smiled for the third time.”

XII

And the angel’s body was bared, and he was clothed in light so that eye could not look on him; and his voice grew louder, as though it came not from him but from heaven above. And the angel said:

“I have learnt that all men live not by care for themselves but by love.

“It was not given to the mother to know what her children needed for their life. Nor was it given to the rich man to know what he himself needed. Nor is it given to any man to know whether, when evening comes, he will need boots for his body or slippers for his corpse.

“I remained alive when I was a man, not by care of myself, but because love was present in a passer-by, and because he and his wife pitied and loved me. The orphans remained alive not because of their mother’s care, but because there was love in the heart of a woman, a stranger to them, who pitied and loved them. And all men live not by the thought they spend on their own welfare, but because love exists in man.

“I knew before that God gave life to men and desires that they should live; now I understood more than that.

“I understood that God does not wish men to live apart, and therefore he does not reveal to them what each one needs for himself; but he wishes them to live united, and therefore reveals to each of them what is necessary for all.

“I have now understood that though it seems to men that they live by care for themselves, in truth it is love alone by which they live. He who has love, is in God, and God is in him, for God is love.”

And the angel sang praise to God, so that the hut trembled at his voice. The roof opened, and a column of fire rose from earth to heaven. Simon and his wife and children fell to the ground. Wings appeared upon the angel’s shoulders, and he rose into the heavens.

And when Simon came to himself the hut stood as before, and there was no one in it but his own family.

Didier Drogba

2010-06-18T21:00:00.000-07:00

In October 2005, after leading Côte d’Ivoire to the 2006 World Cup finals with a 3-1 defeat of Sudan in Abidjan, captain Drogba asked for a microphone and, live on television, fell to his knees in the changing room with his team mates and pleaded with the warring factions to lay down their arms.

Looking straight into the camera, he said: "Citizens of Côte d’Ivoire from the north, south, centre and west, we beg you on our knees to forgive each other. A great country like Ivory Coast cannot sink into chaos forever. Lay down your weapons and organise elections."

And within a week, they did.....

For more, read

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/international/2318500/Didier-Drogba-brings-peace-to-the-Ivory-Coast.html

http://www.thesundaily.com/article.cfm?id=47997

Short Trip to Penang

2010-05-22T07:44:00.000-07:00

Short trips are sometimes good. They leave us with little time to get bored and often, when we realise we are tired, we are almost home. It's been ages since we step foot on Penang Island so whe our Italy trip was cancelled owing to the Icelandic volcano ashes and cancelled flight, we went to Penang and Langkawi instead.

Staying at The Gurney Residence at Gurney Drive was a good decisions as it's very convenient with views of the sea. On our last trip, the view of the sea was rather disappointing, more mud that sea but this time changing weather made the same view a kaleidoscope of colours.

Most of the shots were taken from the bathroom where one can enjoy the view while

showering or taking a bath.

The eateries along Gurney Drive - we decided to give the hawkers at the end a miss this time and tried the others. The mango dessert at this quaint little Malay house on stilts called the Crepe Cottage was the best. It brought back child-hood memories of afternoons visiting my classmates and friends in the Malay kampong nearby.

We also went to this heritage mansion called Cheong Fatt Tze, also known as the Blue Mansion. Decades ago when we stayed with Daddy at the cheap but clean Warldorf Hotel across the road, I remembered seeing this run down old building inhabited by some labourers.

Wardorf Hotel with the little old shops which were Cheong's servants' quarters but

are now upmarket restaurants

This multimillionaire Cheong was a big shot with 8 wives and tons of dough and international connections, and this was his favourite house built for his youngest wife and son. But unlike the Chinese saying that wealth cannot be protected handed down for more than three generations, his immediate heirs could not even protect it for one generation and the place became derelict and was destined to be demolished. Fortunately, some Penangnite who appreciated the value of the building managed to salvage and restore it to its former glory. Who could foresee that his success, wealth and glory would be in vain he was once gone!

Below are the rickshaws used for transport and pulled manually

Another ruin of a school with Komtar in the background. The school's name is familiar, I'm sure Mum mentioned it before but I'm not sure if she went there. It's so sad when we come across something and wish we could ask some body, only to realise that the loved one had passed away and we will never be able to talk to them again.

This Thai temple in Burmah Road houses the famous sleeping Buddha.

Local pancake store outside coffeeshop. Everyone waited patiently for ages in the light drizzle for their turn. Penang logic is : anything worth eating involves some hardship and inconvenience so the longer the queue, the more people will want to buy.

The Two Timing Charmer

2010-05-07T19:44:00.000-07:00

One day, he just appeared at our doorstep, whined and charmed and soon wheedled his way into our hearts. We spent time talking to him, bought him nice stuff, fed him with the best which he didn't quite appreciate and waited each day for him to make his appearance. On the rare occasions when he didn't appear at meal times, we become worried. Once or maybe twice, he went missing and when we found him, he was badly hurt because of a fight. We had to get medical treatment for his leg which was bandaged and prevent him from going out, something which he didn't like at all. All of which costs $$$$ as he's got no money of his own.

Now he comes and go as he pleases although he's always quite punctual at mealtimes. He even leaves the house in front of our very eyes despite our pleas for him to stay home. On other occasions, he tries to prevent me from leaving the house by sitting on my car.

One day, this woman came to our house and claimed the he was hers but owing to some disturbance and fights, the coward left home and they were frantic, going all over the place looking for him. He greeted her in front of me but didn't follow her when she called him.

From then on, we kept a lookout for where he went and became more suspicious. I found out that he goes to the house across the road which was used as an office of an advertising agency to chitchat and charm the ladies each afternoon teatime. Soon, they even have to audacity to shout for him across the road. He also disappear from the back of the house, sometimes climbing over the wall but even to-date, I have no idea where he goes to.

Nowadays, we find that he doesn't eat very much and tend to leave his food unfinished. Despite all that, his belly is growing. A few weeks ago, we found out that he's actually been sneaking out to lunch to his original home down the road. Not only, that he has also been sleeping there without our knowledge because he seems to be home early in the morning and late at night. Of course if we come home late at night, he will come to us, quite out of breath and sometimes if it's raining, he'll be slightly wet. Been sleeping around, eh? The two timing or maybe three timing animal!

In a way, it's a relief to share him with others and good that he's sleeping at some other beds since we do not let him into the house. What ever it is, we are grateful for the joy he'd brought into our lives and most happy to share him with everyone around.

Thank You Ah Meow!

Failure in Success??

2010-02-28T21:11:00.000-08:00

Original full sized painting can be viewed at

http://wolfie-chama.deviantart.com/art/Beautiful-Lies-93475516

The Race by Norah

When I was still a little girl.
Mum taught me how to run,
To leap over water puddles
And race the setting sun.

When I was still in primary school,
I learned to shut my mouth,
To try to not seem like a fool
Though there's something to share about.

When I was just a teenager,
I learned to run The Race,
To turn deaf ears against counsel
And wear a stony face.

When I was an adult at last,
I learned to move ahead,
To surpass all by being fast
Even when my strength waned.

When I had caught up with Old Age,
There was none better than I,
For I had won The Race -- so what?
I missed so much in life.

I never looked up at the sky,
I was watching my pounding feet;
I never stopped to laugh or cry,
I thought I would seem weak.

I never found my life partner,
I did not have time to;
I never helped those who fell down,
I feared that I might too.

I closed my heart and mind and soul
And crossed the finishing line,
I've won this stupid race -- so what?
I wish I was behind.

When your daughter writes such a heart-wrenching poem, how not to feel sad and guilty. She wrote this when she was taking her national exams at 17 years of age. All the while, like most other mothers, I would that she would be spared from any pain, any regrets, any failure. But then without failure, where is the success? Without pain, where is the consolation? Then the question is : Have I pushed her too hard? Have I deprived her of the ability to be happy? Can ambition eradicate happiness? Or can it replace it? At the end of the day, in my eagerness to ensure success so that we can help them to achieve financial stability and hopefully happiness, have I taken away the ability to be content, to be at peace?

Fruit Farm Visit in Pahang, Malaysia

2010-01-23T07:20:00.000-08:00

Two friends got together and started this fruit farm in Pahang between Bentong and Raub. Primarily a durian farm, they also grow mangosteens, langsats, rambutans, papayas and some other fruits.

Self-invented contraption for getting the smaller fruits.

Plucking mangosteens

Daughter was there the week before on their way back from some camp. When she called me, there was such a racket in the background. She told me some were picking fruits, some were eating, some were just playing with the fruits; some were taking the dog for rides in the scooter, some were going to jump into the pond, some were fishing, some chasing the chickens, some trying to climb trees, etc. Wonderful break for active city kids.

The rambutans were my favourites

I was rather reluctant to go as I'm not a durian eater. Sad because I think I've got some kind of allergy to the fruit, always developing sorethroats after eating no matter how small the quantity or how I drink salt water from the shell or eat copious number of mangosteens offset the 'heatiness' of the this king of fruits.

The Westerners say the fruit looks like cream, tastes like custard and smells like shit. The durians available includes most of the popular varieties like the the D24, D101, Red Prawn and the Raja Kunyit ( Mao Sang Wong ) which is the most expensive of the lot. There was much eating coupled with extensive discussion of the texture and taste (whether creamy or bitter or less sweet is better), shape ( regular or odd or oval or round and size ( big or small or medium ).

Eat and tao-pao ( takeaway) for durian parties. Visitors pays RM10 per head for a eat-all-you-can visit and takeaways are changed according to weight of the fruits.

Some brave ones want to camp the night there with

only the mosquitoes and the stars for companionship.

Singapore Trip Dec 2009 Part 2

2010-01-13T05:40:00.000-08:00

The Singapore Botanic Gardens had been around as long as I can remember. When we were young, before the onslaught of shopping malls, it was a real treat to be taken there. The main attraction for us kids there were the many monkeys swinging from tree to tree. One could buy a pack of peanuts wrapped in a newspaper and feed them. However some can become aggressive and my sister had the whole packet snatched away at one go. Years later, my son had his plastic ball snatched and tore up by an aggressive fella hoping to find food inside. Some other complaints of additional bad behaviour got the whole lot of them moved into the zoo.

Chopin and his wife near the orchestra pit

This could be a park in summer in Australia or even Europe

There used to be some black swans but this time, I only saw a couple of white ones.

The lovely water-lily pond

The sun-dial

The pavilion where we had our cell group meetings once upon a time

To my great joy, the Botanic Gardens had remained fairly unchanged except for some improvement, e.g the spice gardens, a couple of upmarket restaurants, the dearth of mosquitoes who loved me dearly. The main change is the Orchid Garden which have become a paid attraction.We did not get to visit as we were short of time. Instead we sat outside and watched the various different varieties of doggies, some huge and furry, some tiny and yappy, others still sleek and proud accompanied by Philippino maids who also took the opportunity to fraternalise. These was no sign of the black swans which an the attraction in the 70s. Only a couple of white ones and some ducks were around. I remember when I was staying in Raffles Hall when the University of Singapore campus was at Bukit Timah, we used to jog in the Botanic Gardens after tea each evening. Sometimes we will ask the kitchen for leftover bread to feed the swans, ducks and fishes.

In the lovely golden afternoon sun, a stroll through the gardens;

on an old wooden bench,

me and my book.

Forget the neighbouring bustling Orchard Road,

its hurrying crowds and fairy lights,

its dazzling shops and dollar signs;

just give me my peaceful green bit of paradise.

Regrets

2010-01-08T17:46:00.000-08:00

On Boxing Day, we attended a Malay wedding. It was at a place called Kampong Medan near the glitzy Sunway Lagoon Resort. In 2001, this little place was the place of a racial tragedy where marginalised part of societies acted out their frustrations against each other, sparked off by a funeral, a wedding and a misunderstanding over a broken lorry window. The result: six people dead and scores of others seriously wounded and a broken trust in the racial harmony that took more than 3o years to rebuild after the horrific May 13th incident in 1969.

However, two weeks ago, Kampong Medan was a cheerful, noisy place with many Malay weddings, parties and open houses going on. Our friend's wedding was in one of the councils' hall. It was a big affair and though not high budget, it was well-organised by relatives and friends.

All through my life, I had always enjoyed Malay weddings. I love the bersanding when one and all can admire the gorgeously dressed bride and groom. I love the bunga telor in which something so humble as an egg can be so prettily packaged and decorated. Somehow the egg always tastes better than usual. And the door gifts are always so attractively done up no matter how simple its content. This wedding was no different. As often, we were the minority of non-Malays and because of that everyone, hosts and their guests too, tried to make us feel extra-welcomed. I noticed that all the non-Malays were given an additional door gift.

Most memorable was this Malay wedding we attended in a small isolated kampong in Langkawi. We were served endless sumptuous servings of curry chicken, mutton rendang, satan vegetables and colour kueys. As we were leaving, I notice that the other guests were just sharing a bowl of curry with one piece of chicken and vegetables at each table. It then dawned upon me how poor these people were and how hospital and generous they had been to us because we were not Malays, and really guests in their village.

In those days, during the wedding season in Langkawi which is usually the schools holidays and after the harvest, I would often see guests going to weddings, carrying with them a gift in a plastic bag. Out of curiosity, I asked what they were giving. It turned out to be two katis of rice or two katis of sugar! Gifts that will definitely be put to good use in the months after when the next harvest season is a long way off.

Yesterday morning, I woke up to a nightmare come true. Two nights ago, my husband was going on about what the Chinese papers said about the use of the word 'Allah' and the court ruling. I shut him up unceremoniously, saying that we shouldn't make a big issue out of the whole thing now that the ruling has been made. The truth is, I felt uncomfortable about it even though for weeks, we'd been praying in Church for a favourable ruling. A sense of foreboding that some quarters will not let things rest, I guess. And now it has come true. Many Malaysians of all races and religions are devastated at the bomb attacks at the churches. Something so fragile, so priceless, so precious has once again been shattered.

Once again, the Agents of Division, of Disorder, of Hatred had scored a victory in Malaysia. But now that the harmony and peace has been severely disrupted and threatened, we pray for the rise of the Defenders of Peace, Tolerance, Humanity and Justice in Malaysia.

Sometimes God works in strange ways and makes good things come out of bad. Of course Marx may regard it as a form of dialectism.

Singapore Trip Dec 2009 Part 1

2010-01-04T21:52:00.000-08:00

This trip I'd decided to do the Orchard Road Christmas lights, something I'd shied from for years ever since I saw the large crowd spilling onto the road on Christmas eve in the 70s before they took to road closure on Christmas Eve. We made a illegal u-turn for lucky escape from the massive human and traffic jam. But since Norah is into photography and everyone in Malaysia talks about it, I thought I'd better go. Not that different but Centrepoint and some of the others was a disappointment. Maybe cost-cutting?

My favourite is the Christmas tree outside Ion. One could go inside, good for photo bugs.

Inside the tree

In front of the blink-blink at Paragon

The most amazing thing about Orchard Road especially during the peak period (public holidays, Satturdays and Sundays) is that one can hardly find any Singaporeans there. In the trains or on the road, most of the time I can't understand what everyone around me is saying, all are conversing in foreign tongues. Where are the Singaporeans? Gone to the cheap, cheap Malaysian Sale next door? On holiday in China? In the NTUC supermarts at the heartland malls because things in town are too pricey? Or in their elitist clubs discussing the prices of properties?

Furthermore,especially for the tourist, it is also next to impossible to buy any products made in Singapore at Orchard Road.

Besides Orchard Road, National Library and Bras Basah Complex, there's the compulsory hunt for food. Norah and I ate the teochew dried mee pok at least 5 times.

We also ate kuay chap, wan ton mee, fried kuay teow, or chien (fried oysters and egg), chui kuey, soon kuey, kuchai kuey, sliced fish soup, mee rebus, mee siam, fried carrot cake, black fried chay tow kuay, soya bean curd, ice kacang, letow suan (green bean dessert), etc. Also the old style Polar cake with the rich butter icing which no one except me likes, hahaha.

All in all, 2 weeks of eating hawker's fare. How thoroughly unhealthy! How simply wonderful! Now, I'm familiar with the pricing again: localised coffee shop or non aircond food center - $2.50; aircond food center in heartland shopping centre - $3- 3.50, food court in city shopping mall, eg Food Republic, $4.50 & above.

No photos of these food as we pigged them out as soon as they appeared. All these plus the more up market restaurants and home-cooked meals made my food orgy complete. Burp....

( To be continued)

The Ultimate Hero

2009-10-23T01:41:00.000-07:00

Years ago it was Titanic, now it's Twilight. Long before that it was Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet and the Chinese Butterfly Lovers.

All the fans, especially girls, love the stories and wouldn't mind watching the shows or reading the books over and over again.

Why?

We all love romance in our lives, especially females because we all want to be loved. Guys, of course may find it too soppy to admit but don't they too desire to find the one?

We want to hear the ultimate love story, we want to find the ultimate lover.

We want to to seek out the true Hero who loves us and put us and our well-being upon a pedestal above his own; who is unafraid of all dangers, all pain, all humiliation and sufferings for our sake and who will even sacrifice his own life and die for us.

In other words, we are all seeking for the man called Jesus Christ.

Alice

2009-10-12T02:22:00.000-07:00

Alice was my hairdresser for more than 10 years. We'd see each other about 3 or 4 times a year, sometimes just twice. Somehow,we seem to connect well and as she patiently snipped off of bits of my hair away, gently reassuring me that the outcome will be very feminine and won't make my husband flip, we will chat endlessly about all sorts of things. No agenda, just two very different people from different backgrounds but we will just talk.

She's single whereas I'm married; she's from a Chinese-speaking background, I'm English-speaking, barely able to read Chinese; she's a staunch Buddhist, I'm Catholic: she comes from a small town, I grew up in a big city. Our superficial differences makes conversation interesting and our similarities in underlying outlook in life makes us click. Popular hairdressers like her are also very good listeners. They know how to empathise with people. They are patient and genuinely interested in others. They remember what you told them months or even years ago. They often fill in the void that busy husbands and grownup children had left behind. Because of this, they are a wealth of information. They know about the economic situation before most of us. They can tell you where to eat, which country to avoid on holidays, what are the latest scams in town, and so on.

Alice treated cutting hair as an art. Each year she would forego weeks of earnings to attend international hair-shows followed by a vacation. In the recent years, she would even take all of the 15 days of Chinese New Year off, something most business people would never do, to celebrate the New Year with her mother in her home town, Sitiawan, followed by some meditation camp in some quiet location.

When she was not working, Alice took up yoga, went for meditation and Buddhist classes. During weekends, she went to old folks home and gave them free haircuts and listened to their stories. In the recent years, Alice had turned totally vegetarian. We discussed at great length about health foods, too. She introduced me to a couple of good vegetarian restaurants and places to buy organic foods. She even taught me how to make enzymes. She was also going to pass me some more recipes but alas, it was not to be. In August, my daughter who refuses to go to any other hairdresser but Aunty Alice, was able, at long last, to take time off her studies to have her haircut. I called the saloon, only to be told that she was not well but would be back later part of the year. I found out later that a few days after that, on the 14th day of the Chinese seventh month, Alice passed away of breast cancer.

I remember my second trip to her saloon and the story she shared with me. it goes like this:

Once upon a time there were two monks who were very close friends. They did everything together and were inseparable. As they grew old, they promised each other that when they died, they will try their very, very best to find each other in the next life no matter what form they were incarnated as.

Eventually they both passed away. The first monk was reincarnated and travelled all over the world looking for his friend for many years. However, he had no success. Very exhausted, he cannot understand why there was no sign of his good friend who must surely be searching for him too. Still, he held on to this promise and continued his journey dreaming about the great things they would do together once they found each other.

Then one fine day, his persistence was eventually rewarded. He found his long lost friend. But sadly, he had been incarnated into a worm in a pile of dung. He wanted to help his friend to get of the shit in the literal sense, to give him a new clean home, to take him along to travel the lengths and breadths of the world, to continue their previous discourses about the meaning of life, to enjoy poetry, art music and all the fine things they used to share together. But try as he would, his friend would not bulge. Finally, sick of his pestering, his friend turned around and said to him:

' Look, I'm happy here. I've got lots to eat and no need to work. I love this pile of shit. I don't want to go any where or be anything else. I don't remember what promises we'd made in the previous life. Please go away and leave alone me to enjoy the life I like in peace.'

Thoroughly disappointed, the first monk had to accept his friend's choice and continue his journey sadly without him.

We laughed heartily at the end of the story and Alice said that she didn't want to be just like the worm, only eating shit and existing. That was why she took time off to travel, to learn new things, to meet new people, to help others, to improve herself.

Each time I look in the mirror at my increasingly messy hair, I think of my friend and find it hard to believe that I can't just dial the familiar number to make an appointment to see her. Then I remember this little tale and am sure she's really gone travelling to the beyond.

Alice, wherever you are, may the Almighty bless you.

I live in a construction site

2009-10-01T03:07:00.000-07:00

My house had been surrounded by constant construction for the past few years. Initially it was renovations, then it became redevelopment. Because ours is an old area, many of the single storey houses are being transformed into brand new doubled storey houses Our neighbour even wanted to put in a hundred piles just a few feet away from us. Fortunately, the one across the road advised against it and all I have to put up with is the constant demolition, hacking, cement grinding, shovelling, drilling as well as the Indonesian colonies that spring up in the compound. Little make shift shacks for the builders of these grand mansions but once almost ready, a guard is employed, these people are quickly locked out of the place they help build, shipped off to another shack in another site.

Each house wants to be the grandest and the tallest. I truly welcome this, the former so that the burglars will not target us, the latter so that lightning also will not strike us. It is really interesting to watch the progress of the whole thing. Initially, all the lights, chandeliers, garden lights etc will be on every night. There'll be laughter, excitement and streams of visitors. Then the smell of satay and roast lamb, with cars blocking the tiny road as open houses takes place at the slightest excuse. Then the lights will slowly dim leaving only a few major ones or even none (like my next door Datuk's). There usually will be some yelling at the maid or maids for something or other for not doing things correctly or worse still for wrecking their brand-new expensive stuff.

There will be quite a bit of activity in the garden, owners, maids, gardeners etc doing gardening, planting, watering beautiful flowers or making new additions. There will also in the mornings or evenings be people exercising in the compound, children playing and laughing. Gradually however, the novelty will die down and soon, all that one sees are cars coming in or out of driveways and maids doing something or other. After a while, even the maids seldom appear, only when their garbage collectors friends or the postman comes. More junk pile up in the previously pristine compound: stacks of newspapers, shoes lying around, bicycles that had seen better days....

Of course not all houses suffer the same fate. But ours did!

Old Friends in Singapore

2009-09-05T09:44:00.000-07:00

Cova at Paragon, Orchard Road

It is a real honour for me that my old friends who are so busy to always try make time for dinner or lunch with me whenever I go back to Singapore. Sometimes, regretfully, we can only have long chats over the phones but even then, these may not be so easy for them. Most are living very busy lives, some have children to supervise, dinner to cook, elderly parents to look after, sick family members to attend to, important meetings to attend, lectures to prepare, assignments and examination scripts to make, pets to take care of, companies to run, planes to catch and many, many more. What more, most of the food they stuff me with are delicious food, be it at fanciful restaurants or simple food courts.

More Happy Faces ..........

When desserts are unlimited, we tend to take more that we can chew...

Yummy Dim-sum at Shaw Centre

This photo was taken with a great deal of self-control. It was Sunday brunch and we were all starving and dying to stab our chopsticks into the food; yet here we are, all looking laid back and polite, but only for short second to snap the photo.

A closer look at the food, of course this was not all, as is the case with dim-sum, we always ordered more as we went along, again with more than we can finish, the genetically inherited Chinese fear of starving always in our blood.

Going back to visit Singapore has always been an emotional affair with me, all the more so since Daddy passed away two years ago. The dizzy changes making it harder to find my way around, the increase in migrants with their many languages, the so many ever-changing latest craze, fads, fashion, trends, whatever ... makes me feel like an foreign tourist in my birthplace. Yet an isolated reminder of the old days - a school uniform unchanged, a past favourite haunt which had escaped the bulldozer, a dusty book in a second-hand bookshop .. all these transport me back to times past making me feel uncomfortably nostalgic and old as I join the human waves in the tube.

My mind continues to churn out the thoughts, often wordlessly. Am I trying to hang on to what is no longer? Will these butterflies fluttering in my stomach ever cease? Am I clinging to shadows that exist only in my mind?

On such occasions, I wonder if I should just forget about this place called Singapore, sell my flat and never come back? After all, the place as I remember it, is no more and there are many other places I long to visit.

Then something makes me feel still rooted to the ground in all that gentle turmoil - family and friends and food. To all of you, I say thank you!

And I know that my memories continue to be created, not just mine but my daughter's too - lovely colourful young memories flowing alongside in unity with the black and white ones .

white day dreams 白日梦

2009-08-15T03:19:00.000-07:00

When I was young, I hated eating rice and mealtimes. I love candies, ice-cream, noodles but come mealtimes, I became all but fossilised, staring onto the blank wall outside the window. Mum will say," Stop making white day dreams, stop staring at the wall and eat up. What is there to stare at? Is there a movie playing? All I can see is the white blank wall. Come-on, chew your food and swallow." A chorus of 'chew your food and swallow' will ensue from the maid. Often times she will entertain me with stories and false promises to buy me balloons and take me to the "New World" amusement park. None of these promises were ever fulfilled, they were beyond the means of a 14 year old servant girl and I sort of knew it but nevertheless, I enjoyed the tirade and co-operated reluctantly by chewing my food and swallowing it a little faster and opening my mouth bigger for the next spoonful and drinking less water in between.

Ever since then, I had now and then engage in this kind of daydreaming. Sometimes the daydreams crystallise into thoughts less fleeting. Sometimes I'll tell others what I'm thinking about to entertain or to influence or to frighten, to exhort and boss over - whatever the mood and occasion calls for. Friends or family then asked why not put it down in writing but my best friend, procrastination is not in favour so it took all this while to out-rule him.

Nowadays, I am enjoying my rice more and eating marginally faster so there is less time to create 'white day dreams'. Nevertheless, old habits die hard and now that time seems to be moving faster and faster, I thought I'd better share some of these with you.

when the tables have turned

2009-07-28T02:08:00.000-07:00

This blog started because of all the nagging. It's nag and nag and nag.......

Ever since I got married and more so when the children came along, I had made a career of nagging. It 's 'hurry up', 'remember to be back in time for the children's....', 'have you finished your homework?', 'practice your organ!','when are you going to bathe?'; 'when are you going to change the light bulb'; ' go to bed', ' you mustn't eat so much heaty/cooling/sweet/spicy/salty/high cholesterol foods...' and so on and so forth.....

It's tiresome, sometimes I wish I can engage some professional to do it instead. But then who would want such tedious work and how much can one fork out, plus how to check the suitable candidate's training background and credentials? And how many are as good a nag as me? Maybe my brother who takes after Grandpa? Even my Dad and my elder sis, those strong-willed ones will not just give way to him but will also act in accordance to his anticipated wishes in order to avoid a bout of nagging. Why is it then that no one is making a big deal out of it? Why no seminars or tv programs, top-sellers' self-help' how to' nagging books ( well, Oz's Wendy Harmer has little illustrated funny book on it) or even a simple ode to this art?

Anyway, I digress. All parents, teachers, housewives do, that is digress ( and of course nag) . And I'm all of these. But poets do digress too, at least Lord Byron does, so that's not too bad. One day I received a post card from London. Among other things, it says, ' Thank you for all your nagging, please continue to nag!' It was from my ex-students.

This time however, the tables have turned. It's my daughter who has been nagging me to start a blog. And as testimony to the effectiveness of her success in this art, here it is ...